did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
