This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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