btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
