Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
