Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is my gift to your gina
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize