shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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