I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
