u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can't turn off my feet"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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