I smell stomach acid.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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