his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
