the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm always down for nudity.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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