Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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