my phone needs a breathalizer
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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