Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
