Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
