you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize