My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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