Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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