you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
