I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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