He disabled his match.com account in front of me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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