MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
