He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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