Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
