if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
