the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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