we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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