32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
