Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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