he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize