Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
