She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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