Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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