also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
