At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
