check it out our google latitudes are spooning
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize