um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
