No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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