Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
