it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
