i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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