Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
