Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
