it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
