I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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