Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
