I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When are your genitals available?
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