yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
