I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
