and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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