I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
