i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
