Kiss
Puke
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
