Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
