Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
