Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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