You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sober January is a disaster.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
