you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
