To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
