Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
