I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
