Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
