I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
