I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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