and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
