Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
