I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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