did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
